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Tank Slapper (warning: a tad wordy)

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    Tank Slapper (warning: a tad wordy)

    So as some of you may have noticed, I haven't been as vocal as before lately. No, my hands aren't broken. But, I did come off my bike pretty bad about 3 weeks ago and I didn't ride or do anything much but go to work and party every night for a while.
    New York City in the summertime tends to turn my world upside down due to the overwhelming amounts of beautiful girls running around tempting me to chase them and all the other stuff that's a lot more fun than keeping up with the HawkGT forum. Not that this isn't fun, but I think we can all relate to having a hard time keeping up when things get fun and busy.
    ANYWAY, so I was out with my friend/roommate at some bars with some birds and had a couple of drinks (mistake #1, but I had been on vacation away from my bike the previous week and couldn't bear to let my bike sit there). Mistake #2 comes right about when I've left the bar and one of the girls runs out just before I put my helmet on and tries to eat my face. So I give her a stunner back (and almost knocked her over with it, mind you). For some reason, I decide that I still need to go home and sleep instead of going home with her. I guess I like to leave them wanting more??
    I'm more than halfway home, leaning real good into all the turns and having a blast because some young little chirpity chirp just laid one on me and... well... because riding my hawk is a blast in itself. I ride these roads everyday and know ever little bump and dip, etc. I'm flogging pretty good and am coming around a turn where I know once past the apex I need to get the bike back to vertical because there are a series of utility hatches that aren't perfectly flush with the asphalt (which I should not forgot to mention is only a month old and really cherry for grip). Do I? Of course not. I throw an unneccesary pre-turn swerve in just to make the actual turn a little more fun.
    That was mistake #3, because I decided to forego my own good judgment and keep it leaned over knowing full-well about the interruptions in the roads surface. Also I'm on the throttle again and the front tire can't possibly be planting very well. Next thing I know I'm thinking of a nasty tank slapper even before it happens and then, sure enough, I'm in it and out of it before I could even try to control it. Tossed hard over the bars and flying with the bike towards the pavement I can hardly even remember hitting; just sliding and being thankful I was wearing my armored jacket and my nice leather dressyish shoes- !!! - There goes a shoe! Oh shit! now I;m going to shred my foot too!
    Finally I've stopped sliding, it was about a city blocks worth of sliding- and I pat the road with my hands to make sure I;ve actuallly stopped. I get up and look my broken ass over, I seem fine. Just a little shredded about the knees and my one glove has come apart and my hand has some rash as well.
    Next I begin to think my bike must be trashed- my beautiful tank and seat and OHHHHHH! fuck! my bike how I love her! So I walk about 20 yards down the road to where the engine is still running, wheel still turning and shut her down. I pick her up and to my amazement!!!! everything is mostly fine, just some rash... same as me.
    No cars around, no one sees my crash and then I spot the Hasidic Jew standing on the sidewalk on his cellphone. No he wasn't calling 911 or anything. He was having a casual conversation at 3:30 am and hasn't even batted an eye at my carnage. He didn't even ask if I was okay or anything. Remember, these are Gods chosen people and they don't even see you if you aren't dressed like a fucking penguin with an all but curly-que sideburns shaved head. Thanks a lot buddy, I'm good ...enough.

    Here's the damage:
    -Supertrapp grated down in a couple of places and very close but no holes.
    -Woodcraft rearset on brake side ground down to about 2/3 it's original size.
    -Foot and hand brake levers both sanded down a fair amount.
    -Forks bashed askew in their clamps, but resettable.
    -Headlight ring has a little rash.
    -Broken LED front right turn signal.
    -Nice, triangular grinding on master cylinder and bar end.
    -Small, unnoticeable ding in gas tank where the force was able to over extend the right clip on slapp dabb into it.
    -Indentation into right steering stop allowing about an 1/8th inch more steering travel before stopping. No big deal.

    That's ALL! Unbelievable! I reckon I was going about 60-70mph but will never know because earlier that day I sent my Acewell bac to factory for replacement. (It kept resetting the trip odometer to 0.0) I have a real good ability to judge my own speed, so I know I'm not exaggerating...

    Now me...
    knee again

    My ass cheek got a nice one too but I'll spare you. Not mentioning the ache and bone bruise feeling in each respectable areas and rest of body.

    But hey, I love what crashing does to my psychi- thrilled to be alive still, not much can piss you off for a while, etc. Like a mental and emotional RESET button.
    ride Red.

    Damn, sounds like you were very lucky. Glad you and the bike came out of it reasonably ok. Nice write up though. I hope it won't dent your pocket too badly putting the bike right.
    '88 Bros NT650J
    Progressive fork springs, '93 CBR600 F2 fork caps, CBR900RR rear shock, Puig 'Raptor' fly screen
    Fabitappi Monoposto seat cover, Heated grips, Braided brake lines, Buell indicators/turn signals
    Ceramic coated stock headers with custom Yoshi shorty muffler & Muzzy collector


      Wow, you got off really light!! But still a bummer about the damage (you and the bike). Jeeezzuz, you could have easily slide into the kerb or something.

      Bet your heart was pumping after that!
      "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."


        yeah man, sounds like mostly peripheral components were damaged. lucky you. road rash is i think worse than broken bones imo. good luck on recovery and hope they give you soem drugs outta the deal.
        Avatar courtesy of
        1988 Honda Hawk NT650 GT


          I'm glad you're okay. Here's a thought though, maybe less booze before riding and more gear all the time would be an idea in the future it's not as hard on the body.
          1988 Hawk, 2002 RC51
          I prefer V-twins and pistols designs from 1911


            No missionary sex for you for awhile!

            Glad your ok and figured out your mistakes. Live and Learn.

            Did you get the chicas number?

            Glory fades, pain heels, Chicks dig scars!
            BIKES: Honda: RC31 Racebike/ NT650 Streetbike, DUCATI: None at the moment.
            Former MSF Rider Coach / Trackday Instructor/ Expert Roadracer #116
            "I'd rather ride a slow bike fast than a fast bike slow."


              my general rule is one drink per meal when riding the bike. yeah missionary sex has been difficult, i keep getting blood on one girl's bedsheets- I think it's funny... Oh and no I didn't get the girls digits, she's a friend of my roommate so I don't have to worry about it.
              New pick up line, "Hope you like being on top..." while showing the road rash.
              So far I haven't had to spend any money to get the bike back to rideable. Just some time to examine it and retighten bolts, etc.
              Thanks for the kind words, guys. I was definitely lucky, there was definitely a few curbs and lampposts i could have hit. I rode the bike home and no hospital has been necessary. The only additional armor I could have had on would be my racing pants with knee pucks, etc. Can't exactly wear those out on the town. I would have been hamburger meat and probably would have broke/shattered bones if it wasn't for the armored RevIt! jacket I had on. Unfortunately, I have to say though, Icon Pursuit gloves are pretty shoddy pieces of crap, which I kind of already knew.

              Thanks again.
              ride Red.


                We're working out what the future holds for Draggin Jeans. Please join our mailing list to find out as soon as we know.

                unless you want to wear slacks.. i dont think they make those.
                Avatar courtesy of
                1988 Honda Hawk NT650 GT


                  Now it all becomes clear...

                  You never mentioned the Chiquita before dude....

                  Women and bikes are a potent mix...



                    glad to hear you and the bike are mostly o.k. good luck with the slow recovery of road rash. i did my time where you are, almost 20 yrs ago.

                    no drinks involved, just a good bit of target fixation on a lonely virginial road around 11:00pm. i also got the thrill of riding home injured while the headlight on the bike shot into the night sky some 30 degrees off to the left of the direction the bike was travellin - good times.

                    enjoy what's left of the summer and i will be lookin to see those tough guy scares at matchless. i have my own and they always brought questions when with a lady - though thats been years ago as well.
                    '88 hawk with sporty mods
                    '76 bmw r90 with sporty mods
                    '71 honda cb 350 racebike


                      Glad your ok.

                      ...and thanks for not posting the ass cheek shot
                      '88 grey

                      Honda Hawk GT blog
                      " gonna bark all day little doggie. . .or are you gonna bite?"