I have a theory (cats)

[6]

I'm a cat lover. So to preface this, I don't care the answer much, won't change how I feel about them, but curious...

I'm not sure my cats actually like me.. I think they are just itchy and like body heat.

Any affection my cats show me can be easily explained by one of these too things.. that's all they want besides food. They want to be scratched, or lay on me..

Maybe cats evolved to be itchy because the itchy ones gave more "affection" to humans, this where fed more, survived easier, spread the itchy gene...

It's possible.... Right?

[Captain 80s]

The Unified Itchy Cat Theory. Possible.

Our two Manx, Joey Dunlop and Freddie Spencer seem to genuinely enjoy our presence, more than just a fence post or food dispenser. But I could be projecting too.

They follow me down to the shop and like to just hang out. I'll turn around and there's Freddie chilling on my tire changing U-Haul blanket just watching me work. And they do absolutely LOVE their bellies rubbed and scratched. They pull up and literally FLOP over. When I get up to go to bed, Joey jumps down and he's waiting in the hallway for me after brushing my teeth and then escorts me to bed to sleep behind my knees.

Good boys.

[6]

.

Our two Manx, Joey Dunlop and Freddie Spencer

Absolutely epic.



My cats follow me around too. Shop now runs out to greet me when i go to the shop. FL is sitting next to me as i type (incredibly NOT on the keyboard).

Fuckin Larry has a bit of a tell that could counter UICT (also epic). He lots of times doesn't want you to pick him up, but as soon as you get him he just goes limp and starts to sound like a motor boat. Pbrrrrrrrrrrbrrrrrrrrrbrrrrrrrrbrrrrrr Pbrrrrrr. (could also be an evolutionary tick i guess,,, , , )

Here is what got me thinking about this. My dogs who are for sure on my team, tell me in every way possible, that the cat, is NOT on our team. Fuckin Larry they have accepted, Shop... Nope. D is very concerned and wants to make sure i always know where shop is and he keeps an eye on him like a known art thief in the MFAB.

FL is an absolute warrior. He is out all night doing battle to the death with all types of woodland creatures... Then he comes in, leaves a dead bird on the steps like a sacrifice to the chin scratch gods, and goes to bed. He is the Witcher.

[Captain 80s]

Joey caught and killed a crow. And not a small one that fell out of a nest or something. A mother-fucking crow. Our neighbor feeds them (fucker), so there's always a bunch around. They went absolutely APE SHIT when this went down. I opened the back door to see what the HELL was going on and here comes Joey dragging a crow carcass right by me and into my bathroom that's right there. I had to wrestle the crow away from him. I am not exaggerating when I say to imagine a dog and his rope toy and it's tug of war. I got him to the door and he stuck his 2 rear legs out and caught the door opening, pulling on the crow with his mouth and growling at me the whole. Fucking crow blood EVERYWHERE. Finally got it away from him and then made the mistake of letting the crows see me take it to the yard waste bin. They have let up on me mostly, but they still gather and give Joey shit, dive bombing him when he's out. He's now to the stage where he sits out and just torments them. And can still tell when Joey is heading home from a neighbor's yard.

[Captain 80s]

Bunnies have been prolific in our area last couple years. Steady stream of bun-bun bodies showing up. Some times just some fur and a foot. Little while ago Sarah and I are in the kitchen eating dinner, watching some TV. TV is up kinda loud but I hear the unmistakable scream of a bunny getting "played" with by Freddie just outside our kitchen in the covered eating area. I'm hoping he'll make it quick and Sarah won't catch on. Just then a Bunny goes FLYING in the air in a big arc right in front of the window, downy fur lit up by our kitchen lights, screaming the whole way.

Sarah: "Jesus Fucking Christ Freddie!"

It was a quiet rest of the dinner... for everybody.

[Hordpower]

We had a cat for 17 years that was just perfect, he died about 2 years ago. He was inside/outside, and I kid you not, for about 15 years we never knew where he took a shit. Finally spied him under a pine tree one day. Never had a litterbox.

Now we have 2 assholes, well, an asshole and a half. One is I'm pretty sure brain damaged and is completely non-loving, the other sometimes will not leave you alone, sometimes will growl and hiss. I don't get it. I should have cloned the other cat and left these 2 at the shelter to be adopted by some other sucker. Also the dog recently croaked, and he was such an idiot that I don't want to replace him because I'm afraid I'll get stuck with another idiot for 15 years. Our first cat, 30 some years ago, sent me to the ER. I have not much luck with pets.

[6]

We had a cat for 17 years that was just perfect, he died about 2 years ago. He was inside/outside, and I kid you not, for about 15 years we never knew where he took a shit. Finally spied him under a pine tree one day. Never had a litterbox.

Now we have 2 assholes, well, an asshole and a half. One is I'm pretty sure brain damaged and is completely non-loving, the other sometimes will not leave you alone, sometimes will growl and hiss. I don't get it. I should have cloned the other cat and left these 2 at the shelter to be adopted by some other sucker. Also the dog recently croaked, and he was such an idiot that I don't want to replace him because I'm afraid I'll get stuck with another idiot for 15 years. Our first cat, 30 some years ago, sent me to the ER. I have not much luck with pets.

Man, first one sounded dope yho.... sucks when you get an animal that doesn't work for you. I feel I get pretty lucky with pets. At least dogs and Fuckin Larry. But that little fucker Holstein, he attacked my pee stream for the last fucking time. He now lives with our friends around the block, they are older, hopefully they sit when they pee...

They also have a dog, Bo, all Bo does is bark at you to throw something for him, and not just anything, whatever THE thing is he picked for that day. Rock, toy, stick, 8' long 8" thick log.... Doesn't matter. Once he has picked it, that's that. He is going to bark at you every second he is outside to throw it.


He's kinda a tool....

[Captain 80s]

My wife and I have been very lucky with our cats. They have all been very cool and loving, with great personalities. Freddie and Joey don't have a litterbox either. It's awesome. We will put one together when we are gone for a few nights and friend's are coming by to throw down some food.

"Adoption" photo (they are bros)

Joey and Freddie as kittens.jpg

Joey campaigning a couple years ago

20201021_173551.jpg

[6]

Shop The Cat, is officially coming around.

IMG_20220208_152146.jpg
IMG_20220208_152152.jpg

Made the turn from skidish to approachable, then started taking a turn into shop member, not he is rounding a corner into underfoot and maybe a little annoying, but I'm hoping that evens back out.

[Fastmongrel]

You can tell if a cat tolerates you. If it stays your good if it disappears it thought you were a dick.

My little buddy Heinz. He's called Heinz because he was rescued from a dump when he got his head stuck in a Heinz baked beans can.

[dagus]

I've always said that dogs are what people should aspire to be... cats, they're more like what people are.

Mine were siblings, and always indoors only. Moony was 13 when he died back in May. Greatest cat that ever lived and you're never going to change my mind. He thought he was a fucking dog... came when we called him, was there when we put each of the kids to bed every night, without fail, met us at the door when we came home, and affectionate as shit. The head boop king. If you were sick, or sad, or whatever, he knew, and he'd camp out next to you and not leave your side. He'd perch on my shoulders but hated being picked up and held, or put in your lap, it was the weirdest thing.

Star was always a typical cat, kind of aloof. Did NOT like being petted much, but if you picked her up she'd let you hold her forever. She hid a lot, and during the daytime she was never that affectionate with the family. She'd curl up with Moony but wouldn't bother with us, until late in the evening when she'd look for cuddles from me. After Moony died, it was like she was a different cat... she was never vocal like he was, but now all of a sudden it's "LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE" and she's incredibly expressive. I think Moony was her voice, his job was to communicate with the humans. Now that he's gone she kind of acts a lot more like him. She keeps me company in my home office a good chunk of the day, and is super affectionate. It's nice.

I think cats get a bad rep... they can love, and it's not just self-serving, no question about it. But we're used to dogs, I guess... pure hearted little psychos that love you unconditionally... cats just have better boundaries.

[6]

I've always said that dogs are what people should aspire to be... cats, they're more like what people are.

Mine were siblings, and always indoors only. Moony was 13 when he died back in May. Greatest cat that ever lived and you're never going to change my mind. He thought he was a fucking dog... came when we called him, was there when we put each of the kids to bed every night, without fail, met us at the door when we came home, and affectionate as shit. The head boop king. If you were sick, or sad, or whatever, he knew, and he'd camp out next to you and not leave your side. He'd perch on my shoulders but hated being picked up and held, or put in your lap, it was the weirdest thing.

Star was always a typical cat, kind of aloof. Did NOT like being petted much, but if you picked her up she'd let you hold her forever. She hid a lot, and during the daytime she was never that affectionate with the family. She'd curl up with Moony but wouldn't bother with us, until late in the evening when she'd look for cuddles from me. After Moony died, it was like she was a different cat... she was never vocal like he was, but now all of a sudden it's "LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE" and she's incredibly expressive. I think Moony was her voice, his job was to communicate with the humans. Now that he's gone she kind of acts a lot more like him. She keeps me company in my home office a good chunk of the day, and is super affectionate. It's nice.

I think cats get a bad rep... they can love, and it's not just self-serving, no question about it. But we're used to dogs, I guess... pure hearted little psychos that love you unconditionally... cats just have better boundaries.

I've had some cats i truly love. Some I don't care for much. But very rarely did I meet a "bad" one. I'll intentions don't seem to fit in cats. Met some terrible dogs, horses, goats, and god forbid some wild animals.. but not cats.

I read a thing the other day wondering about this. It said that dogs can love people the same way they do other dogs. They can measure the "love chemical" (my brain didn't retain the world) that the brain releases when you feel love. Cats, don't have that with people. They do for their kittens and mates, but not for humans.

You could take that as a knock against them, I don't. Because that meant the cayr actually really fucking likes hanging around with you. It doesn't get a chemical hit when it sees you that has it want to be around you like an addict. So I'll take it.

Watching fucking Larry very closely the last week while I've been thinking on this, I have no doubt he is in it for more than friskers, meow mix and scratches. Dude is choosing to live with me, not cohabitate. Rtfo!


Oh, Shop, The Cat, went missing from the shop. He/she was here Tuesday, Wednesday morning, and then I couldn't him Wednesday afternoon. Looked again yesterday, and again today. The litter box is undisturbed, food in touched, just gone.


Hoping he just moved on, but lots of coyote activity in the area last few days. If he/she did go out for a night, or have away out and back in it may have met it's demise.

Time will tell.

[jspeed53]

ULTIMATUM

The Quote: “The next one to empty my food dish is gonna get it! Wanna know the consequences? Pay close attention as I demonstrate!”

The Audience:
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The Speaker:
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